my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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