arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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