I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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