if you like me you must not know who I am
So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
