as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
MIDGETS
????
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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