Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
