she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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