No, you can still breathe under the balls.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
