As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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