I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
