so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
