Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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