You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
