she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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