Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
