Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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