I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
