can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Randomize
