i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Randomize
