she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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