used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
