You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
