i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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