No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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