I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Randomize
