Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize
