This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
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