I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
