Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
He shit in the fireplace
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
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