Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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