I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize