If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
