question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I'm always down for nudity.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
