i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
