i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize
