We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Randomize
