He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
