i permit you to call me
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
My feet surprised me
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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