Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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