Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
My penis needs a shock collar
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Randomize
