oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
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