just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
