Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
