Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Randomize
