About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
