i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
