I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
