I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
