I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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