So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
