eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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