Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
