he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
