So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
What drink are we having for lunch?
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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