he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?