maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Just high enough for therapy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize