is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Randomize
