So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
