I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
