dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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