i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
