i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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