I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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