yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
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