the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Randomize
